You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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