if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
