the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
