We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
