im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
