I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
