like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Boobs speak an international language.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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