my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
