Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize