Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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