I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
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When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
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It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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