She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
