"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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