um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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