so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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