and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
