96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
