I wish I could teleport
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
