we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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