If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I think i got beer on your cat.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
