just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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