At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
