but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
