I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
