also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
