Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
