Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
