it wasn't lemon gatorade
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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