I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
