I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
That's how pantless uber rides happen
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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