toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
