omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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