The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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