PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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