They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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