And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
