the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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