who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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