just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
