OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
