Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
