Where did you get a picture of my penis
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
