i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
