Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
