i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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