Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...

(301): View more from Maryland

New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey

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(301): When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics... (301): New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey http://tfl.nu/918b

Replies (15) Good night (1962) Bad night (629)
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(410): View more from Maryland

She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.

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(410): She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY. http://tfl.nu/v8u7

Replies (85) Good night (1340) Bad night (12791)
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(518): View more from New York

his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"

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(518): his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed" http://tfl.nu/g8fj

Replies (22) Good night (2702) Bad night (5012)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"

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(203): well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father" http://tfl.nu/5bjg

Replies (20) Good night (1299) Bad night (5746)
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(707): View more from California

I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already

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(707): I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already http://tfl.nu/x0ls

Replies (10) Good night (4462) Bad night (1269)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.

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(603): All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident. http://tfl.nu/iw55

Replies (7) Good night (3084) Bad night (954)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians

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(248): I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians http://tfl.nu/d2hy

Replies (5) Good night (2097) Bad night (707)
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(734): View more from Michigan

of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again

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(734): of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again http://tfl.nu/rl6w

Replies (19) Good night (1870) Bad night (724)
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(979): View more from Texas

He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic

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(979): He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic http://tfl.nu/8ocy

Replies (10) Good night (2589) Bad night (1120)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.

(303): View more from Colorado

God I adore you.

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(720): I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night. (303): God I adore you. http://tfl.nu/8nlv

Replies (2) Good night (1305) Bad night (670)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.

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(+44): When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits. http://tfl.nu/jw7g

Replies (3) Good night (495) Bad night (1266)
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(847): View more from Illinois

The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.

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(847): The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one. http://tfl.nu/8fpw

Replies (2) Good night (857) Bad night (466)
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(520): View more from Arizona

Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.

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(520): Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot. http://tfl.nu/72kv

Replies (2) Good night (305) Bad night (760)
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(848): View more from New Jersey

How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?

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(848): How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window? http://tfl.nu/f8ev

Replies (1) Good night (310) Bad night (544)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?

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(248): I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex? http://tfl.nu/7avt

Replies (1) Good night (859) Bad night (307)

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