brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
why didn't you poke me back
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
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what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
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I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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