I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.