...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?