let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?