he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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