So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
