Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
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