guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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