Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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