The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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