His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
