he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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