"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
