i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
