Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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