Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize