I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
