YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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