WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
