oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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