I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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