The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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