Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize