I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
